I Remember

These three pieces were written at The Mission Inn Writing Retreat in October, 2011 
UCR Inland Empire Writing Project
Prompt provided by Marilyn Donohue


One to Five

I remember the scent of Aunt Mary’s lavender perfume

Dad’s Lava soap

And Mom’s coffee and Tareyton breath

Also from-scratch dinners and desserts

Beef

Pastries

Tapioca pudding

I can see Mom changing Billy’s sheets

A ritual every morning

The tang of urine and the familiar smell of rubber and cotton sheets

Her dimples were beautiful

She never lost patience with him

My ear against her warm chest, listening to the soft, deep smoky laugh mingled with heartbeat

Her bright hair

Billy’s

Little boy voice

Sis!





Five to Ten

I remember the new plastic Volkswagen Bug smell as we drove away from Cheryl and Mom

Leaving Wisconsin

and moist rich dark earth growing smells to a place of dust and sage.

Hearing the raised anguished crazy voice of mom’s grief

And Dad’s

So even

But lying

Feeling my brother’s body wedged in with mine and so many of our belongings in the back seat

Seeing my childhood shepherd through the rear window for the last time

Duchess

The taste of my first Big Mac

And my very own Orange Crush Pop

Not home tastes

Gone





Ten to Fifteen

I remember the smells of Grandmother’s room at the Odd Fellows Home

Northfield, Minnesota.

Coffee cake.

Something musty and industrial.

No fancy perfumes there.

And air, cool and buzzing to “keep the old ladies out.”

I saw a faded picture of my mom on the wall with a stranger. She was wearing a corsage.

And my Cousin Rita’s high school graduation photograph, signed with love.

My tongue, bitter and swollen with unspoken questions.

Do you love her

...and me?

Sitting stiffly on the edge of Grandma’s lumpy twin bed

Alone.