Meeting with fellow writers did not come naturally to me. I hoarded my secret pages like a little boy saves rocks and sticks in his sock drawer, or a guilty wife, her love letters. It was comforting to me to know that no one was ever going to discover that I had no writing skills, even though writing was my deepest desire. After many years of this, I made a decision: I had to reveal myself if I was going to grow--and when I did, I found myself nearly immediately experiencing tremendous relief and energy.
First, there was the National Writing Project. Next came Goddard College. Now, I have my group. In
her wonderful book on writing and life, Bird by Bird (which has been our group focus for several months), Anne LaMott talks about a group of her former students who have met together for years. She says:
"They've gone from being four tense, slightly conceited, lonely people who wanted to write to one of those weird little families we fashion out of whoever's around us. They're very tender with one another. They all look a lot less slick and cool than they did when they were in my class, because helping each other has made their hearts get bigger. A big heart is both a clunky and a delicate thing; it doesn't protect itself and it doesn't hide. It stands out, like a baby's fontanel, where you can see the soul pulse through. You can see this pulse in them now."
No one in my group has ever been conceited or lonely, of course (not, at least, that you'd notice), but a few of them are really cool. Their hearts are big.
If you're a writer, join a writer's group, or start a writer's group.
Sometimes everyone will show up and the energy in the room will be palpable. Other times, maybe just two of you will be able to meet. If you're in the right group, over time you will look forward to all of your meetings, each of which will teach you something new, even when you haven't written a thing all week and you're feeling like giving up--because it provides you with invaluable indepth bonding time--time devoted solely to nurturing one another in this writer's life.
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